Grief and loss

Grief and loss counseling at Expatriate Psychologist Bernadette van Wouw

Sooner or later in life, everyone has to face a loss. The death of a loved one, a divorce, a serious illness or unexpected unemployment, a loss hits you in the core. You have to say goodbye to what was or what you wanted so badly. Mourning is the downside of love, it is logical that you experience grief when a loved one or something dear disappears from your life.

Possible reactions to grief and loss
If you mourn you are sad, but you can also have other emotions and feelings:

  • you feel desperate and helpless
  • you struggle with feelings of guilt
  • you are angry
  • you suffer from fatigue
  • you have physical problems such as digestive problems, breathing problems
  • you feel scared, lonely and confused
  • you are hyperactive or feeling numb
  • you cannot believe it, the loss is huge

Grieving
Even though mourning is universal, each grieving process is unique: No two people experience the same grief and there is not a typical response to loss. Yet, it may be helpful and reassuring to know that a grieving process goes through several stages in which you learn to live with the loss. These stages can be handles that may help you getting grip on your emotions.

Dying mourn and mourners die, each in their own unique way. Letting go of the old, the old you and me and converge to the new, the new you and me. Even though the other is physically away, the connection is not. Man is much more than his or her physical body. Types of contact, albeit much more subtle than the usual physical contact, are not excluded even after death. Research has shown that more than half of the families who lost a partner, indicate that the other ‘is still present’, with half saying they feel his or her presence (‘I saw her suddenly for me’’ or ‘I heard his voice,’ or ‘I suddenly smelled her perfume’). Even if you do not have these perceptions, there may be a subtle form of contact, for example through dreams about the deceased. A new kind of connection does not mean clinging, but giving the deceased loved one a ‘proper’ place in your life. However, if you are even after a long time still very much involved with the deceased loved one and/or continue to be overwhelmed with emotions, it may be necessary to look at the situation from a different angle.

Grief and loss counseling at Expatriate Psychologist Bernadette van Wouw
Processing a loss is finding a balance between looking back to what was, dwell on your feelings and regain the strength to go on with your life. As mourning is an intense, confusing and difficult period, it can be difficult to know if something is part of ‘it “or if it is ‘abnormal’. The moment you ask yourself these questions, you might actually have to talk to someone who can help you understand.

Since you are often left with questions after a loss, clear answers can help you to go on with your life. Because I am paranormally gifted and mediumistic talented, I am able to give you clear answers about questions that are left open. Next to this, I walk together with you through the grieving process in order to achieve acceptance.

More information about grief and loss counseling and other problems in practice Expatriate Psychologist Bernadette van Wouw can be found under treatment.